Dating a girl with a purity ring
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). You can enjoy fun, positive friendships with people of the opposite sex and be involved in all sorts of activities without coupling up with one person. God says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers . When we put ourselves in an ungodly atmosphere with ungodly people we are influenced toward ungodliness.
If you do choose to date, the following guidelines can help you maintain a walk with God and guard your purity. “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (I Corinthians ). Realize your date is your brother or sister in Christ—not your “lover.” “Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5:2).
First of all, remember that if you plant purity today, you will reap a rich harvest, free from shame and guilt. (And if you’re not a committed disciple, why aren’t you? (This assumes that you yourself are a growing Christian.) 4. When we judge people by their appearances, often we turn out to be dead wrong—and meanwhile we may have made foolish choices. Realize Christ is watching and is with you all evening—wherever you go and whatever you do. He is with you because He’s omnipresent, but as a believer He is with you in a very special way: you are His holy temple (1 Corinthians ). Realize where you go and who you go with will influence your sexual desires.
And, by the grace of God, you’ll look back on your life not with regret, but with joyful gratitude. Be smart, not stupid, and you’ll enjoy the best God has for you! Just because lots of other people date doesn’t mean you have to. ) Just because a person is a Christian doesn’t make him or her morally safe or a worthy partner. When we put ourselves in a godly atmosphere with godly people, we are influenced toward godliness.
You must stay safely back from the line where either one is propelled toward sexual intimacy. Focus on talk, not touch; conversation, not contact. Gaps always get filled, often with temptations to sexual impurity. Setups include such things as being alone on a couch or in a car late at night or in a bedroom.
Treat your date as a subject to listen to and understand and appreciate, not an object to experiment with, conquer or satisfy your desires. Avoid fast moving relationships and instant intimacy. A car moving too fast is likely to swerve out of control when it hits a slick spot. Know what you’re doing and either stick with the plan or go somewhere safe, where you’re in the sight of others (particularly others who respect the need for purity). Determine to stay away from the setup, rather than putting yourself in the setup and having to call on your convictions when your resistance is at its lowest, and you’re most likely to give in. Be accountable to someone about your physical relationship.
God forgives when we sincerely repent, but if we sincerely repent we will show it by taking necessary steps to avoid temptation.
Somewhere out there is the man or woman you’re going to marry.This should be a committed brother or sister in Christ, usually the same gender as you. Plan to pray at the end of the date to thank Him for it.It should be someone who takes sexual purity seriously, someone with wise advice, who will pray for you and help hold you accountable to high standards. Pray together at the beginning and end of each date. Knowing this prayer is coming will help you to be sure to control yourself and please God. Imagine your parents and church leaders are watching you through the window. Then realize your life is not private—it’s an open book to be seen by a watching world: "What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs” (Luke 12:3). When you sense the temptation coming, before things start to get out of control, RUN. When it comes to sexual temptation, it always pays to be a coward. Write out your own standards and enforce them yourself—never depend on your date.It’s easy to wear down in the battle for sexual purity, to begin to rationalize that you’re really a couple.
Don’t get engaged until you can put the wedding in sight.What do you want them to be doing now with someone else?