Dating call her
Notice how in both Scenario A and Scenario B, the ladies have called their men 4 times in a 5-day stretch. In B, the guy’s thinking he’s got an amazingly self-sufficient girlfriend who barely needs to call him. There’s a whole section on which should be mandatory reading for all of you.
But the fourth call in Scenario A is more likely to be welcome than the one in Scenario B. 3) Trust your intuition without dumping on him too much.
Jill’s letter astutely observes another principle: there is a developmental arc to the frequency of contact and who’s initiating it. So here are some quick guidelines on getting your guy on the line: 1) Early on, let call you first.
In the early stages of courtship, you want to let yourself be pursued.
I really appreciate your advice and have listened to your CD over and over again.
I also followed your Tao of Dating principles, which was beyond enlightening for me, as it turned the tables and made me responsible for doing my own housework and trying to be the goddess and I still think ‘What would a goddess do?
Unless you’re always calling us with a litany of pain and disaster, in which case we will soon develop a phobia to your calls and stop looking forward to hearing your voice.
As in, “We had a great first date — why hasn’t he called me yet (SMHWTMH)? That’s reserved for authentic guffaws and funny cat pictures.
So, the brief answer to your burning question is that you’re overthinking it (surprise! I mean, your letter’s twists and turns and decisions and revisions that reverse themselves make a Six Flags roller coaster seem like a stroll down a grocery aisle.
I think it’s partially my fault, since following your advice, I got out and dated more than one guy at the beginning and did not call the guys but generally waited for them to call (new concept for me and it actually worked, thanks! Eventually he rose to the top and we started dating exclusively and I continued to let him initiate most of the calls but now I don’t know if he’s gotten ‘settled in’, but when I don’t see him, he doesn’t call that often.
It’s not that I never hear from him, there is the occasional text, call etc., but for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, it’s less calling than I’m used to and although everyone is different with how much they call, I think even a goddess might get a little hurt/annoyed by this behavior lol.
Anyway your help would be greatly appreciated :)) Goodness gracious, Jill!