Dating people going through divorce
Don't over indulge in these sessions because you DO NOT want double as his/her therapist, and this is an easy role to fall into. He or she was married to your current significant other for Pete's sake! This means: no stalking him/her on social media, and no peppering your new love interest with questions about the ex.You're not getting a high (or any) hourly rate for this. Remember, he or she is attempting to move on, so you certainly don't want to be the one making that harder for him or her. Breaking down those walls could be a long, tough process, but it's possible.The difference between the two is based on a number of individualized factors. ), and his capacity to own and reflect on what happened.Consider his emotional availability, the circumstances of his marriage and divorce (Was it amicable? Listen closely as he shares his past with you to better gauge where he is emotionally and if he has truly moved on and is ready to be a partner to you.Every other week, they would hand-off the dog like it was a small child, during which she and I would make polite but totally forced small talk in the apartment they once shared together. If there are actual kids involved in this former union, well that's an entire — and far more complex —story.
If you take only one thing away from this story, let it be this: If the timing is off, don't try to force it. Think of it this way, in every relationship, you eventually talk about exes — this one just may be a bit more, well, significant. Let he or she do the talking, listen attentively, and then do your best to move on from there.Rather than focusing on the the length of time he has been divorced, you’ll get much better information by tuning into what he is saying and how it makes you feel.While the length of time he has been single is important to his readiness, it is not everything.The older we get, the more inevitable it's going to be we date people who already have a marriage behind their belt.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, in fact, it proves they were — and therefore likely still are — able to really commit to someone. And before you ask yourself, how will I know if he or she is ready? Now of course, not everyone going through a divorce is a lost cause — Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger even calls divorced men the best kept secret.
In fact, the real thing may even have to be an extra level of mind blowing for them to go down that path again.