Dating single parants


15-Jul-2020 10:19

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You’re a mum, yes, but you’re also a woman who wants to flirt and enjoy a nice glass of wine in some adult company.

I think it’s important to make clear to the person you are dating that you aren’t looking for any help with parenting.

I’ll never forget the first time I came down the stairs all dressed up to see my baby with his bottle, ready to be put to bed by someone else. But now I know how important my personal time is to keep me sane.

A good mum is a happy mum – never feel guilty about wanting time to be you.

That’s your territory, especially in the early days.

I had a boyfriend once who wanted to get way too involved too quickly, and my child just doesn’t need the potential disruption that would cause.

My personal solution here is to ask my boyfriends to work by the rules of a public swimming pool: if you wouldn’t get away with it there, don’t do it in front of my son. But it also means more special time as a couple when you do manage to escape for those precious nights away (once you’ve found a very trusted babysitter, of course).

Perhaps it’s only natural for the person you are dating to think about the future with you, given your life situation as a parent.

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Someone recently broke up with me because they just “couldn’t get their head around being a dad”. He just went all Mystic Meg and couldn’t handle it.

In our household ‘baggage’ is considered a swear word.

‘Baggage’ implies a disadvantage; something bulky and extra, weighing you down. However, growing up in a society that sees single motherhood as a one way ticket to loneliness, poverty and the benefits system, I see where the ‘b’ word has come from.

So the word ‘baggage’ needs to be replaced with ‘bonus’, because that’s a more accurate description.

Never think that you are doing anything wrong by wanting some time for yourself.It took me a long time to get over the stigma of being a single parent – especially when it came to dating.



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